Few things change your life as suddenly and as irrevocably as having children. This is not just a major upheaval in your lifestyle; your relationship with your children will continue to grow and change and bring its own set of challenges at different stages. Knowing what those will be can help you better prepare for them.
Infancy
New parents who have not been around babies much in the past are often unprepared for the all-consuming nature of a new infant in the home. While this stage is overwhelming, in most families, it is also over relatively quickly as babies begin to sleep through the night and adults adjust to the new person in their life. A big challenge at this stage is often a shift in lifestyle when becoming a parent that can make it tough to keep up with old friends and activities, at least for the first few years of a child’s life. However, some people find that their priorities change a great deal and they are less interested in resuming their old activities. Others find ways to integrate their kids into those activities.
Starting School
Another big change occurs when kids start school. Stay-at-home parents might return to the workforce. For the first time in the lives of many children, the wider world and their peer group in particular starts to become a big influence in contrast to family life. As with infancy, parents can experience this time in varied ways. For some, especially those who stayed home with the child, it can feel like getting some of the autonomy of their old life back. For others, it can feel like a bittersweet break, the first sense that their child is growing up. Of course, for many, it is a combination of the two.
The Teen Years
The teen years are notoriously difficult for both the teens and anyone in their orbit. Teens are going through all kinds of physical, emotional, psychological, and intellectual changes. It’s part of natural development that they are testing boundaries, but the result can be chaotic and stressful for anyone who lives with them. A key challenge in these years is for parents to teach teens coping mechanisms, and really understand their teens, what motivates them, and what they are capable of. Maturity levels can vary wildly, with some teenagers exhibiting a great deal of responsibility and independence and others struggling more. Patience, a sense of humor, and the ability to let teens make some of their own mistakes will serve parents well in these years.
College
The big challenge of the college years for mothers and fathers is letting their kids start to navigate adulthood independently while still stepping in to help with certain matters. One place where kids will almost certainly need help in college is when it comes to money, and this includes everything from learning to make a budget, to getting the necessary funds to pay for school. Parents can help by cosigning on private loans.
An Earnest cosigner for student loans can mean the difference not just in the interest rate but in whether or not the student is approved in the first place. The other significant challenge faced by most parents at this time is the empty nest syndrome. Just like when the child first heads off to school, this can mean a combination of excitement at the possibilities now that the kids are out of the home and sadness at the end of significant life stage.
Adulthood
Adult children always feel like kids to their parents to some extent, but ideally, this can be a time when the relationship evolves again. Some families may drift apart, but others become closer and begin to see one another more as peers. Similarly, the arrival of grandchildren can strengthen ties or exacerbate conflict. One challenge that may arise at this time is that the values and lifestyles of adult children may differ significantly from those of their parents. This can create difficulties if parents feel as though their values are being rejected.
