I’ll push for tax incentives to spur speculation, giving you loopholes that you can drive your jumbo private jet or yacht through! Show us how innovative, creative thinking you are!
(Wild applause)
And I know it’s not always how we think about this, but another engine of strong growth should be the TPP and the TTIP, and the TISA.
(Applause)
I want you to hear this. Creating a global neo-liberal enclosure of the entire world economy that pretends to be about “free trade” won’t do much for the total economy—perhaps a tiny percentage point of growth—but I guarantee it will line your pockets like nothing else. Think trillions in your coffers. Quadrillions, once we force all the Asian-Pacific economies to suspend their financial uptightness restricting wild casino gambling! Financial liberalization forced on Asia will result in Quadrillions! Bazillions! And remember, the house—that’s us—we write the rules—never loses!
(Wild Applause)
These are the new policies that will help change the world order. It’s not just about these United states, or even the Asia-Pacific that I’m pushing for in the Pacific Pivot. We need to change the planet, before the planet changes us, gets back at us for abusing it so deeply. It’s the planetary endgame, and we want to have a big blast before our toys are taken away….
When I get started, we get our country moving in the direction that we want. Money that can channel more public and private funds to the top leadership—that’s you and me…
(Applause)
… channel those funds to finance and speculation!
(Applause)
So let’s built those faster trading algorithms and make sure they work faster, bigger, riskier, and trade sums larger than they have ever before!
(Applause)
And really, there’s no excuse not to make wilder, greater investments in speculative trading right now.
(Wild applause)
Our economy obviously runs on finance, and the time is long overdue to make America the ultimate financial superpower. Weapons of financial mass destruction? Bring them on! They are our weapons! Some may worry Finance may destroy millions of jobs, put billions into penury, kill billions of starvation, send the economy into a crazy tailspin, but it will make us—that’s you and me—rich and powerful beyond imagination. Let’s be real here. Isn’t that what matters?
(Cackles)
(Laughter)
Let’s fund the mathematical research that spawns breathtakingly risky trading algorithms and creates entire new areas of fictitious capital, an equation to model every aspect of human greed and fantasy and desire! I can put my support behind that! A mathematical copula that really copulates the unwashed masses!
(Laughter)
(Wild Applause)
I will set ambitious goals in all of these areas in the months ahead.
But today, let me emphasize again, that I will institute the key ingredient of strong growth that often goes overlooked… I will break down all global non-tariff barriers so we can do what we did to our economy all over the world. We are equal opportunity crisis-makers!
(Applause)
Watch what I do, not what I say!
(Lifts dog whistle to lips)
(Loud laughter)
We are in a global competition, as I’m sure you have noticed.
I’m starting to repeat myself, but I’m on a roll.
We can’t afford to leave finance on the benches. That’s exactly what we’re doing today with Glass-Steagall-type regulation. When we leave money on the bench, we not only shortchange its power, and we lose the game, and we shortchange our country and our future.
The movement of hot, speculative money into real estate during the past 20 years was responsible for trillions funneled into your pockets. But that progress is beginning to stall out.
Studies show that nearly this decline is happening because we’re trying to stop real fictitious growth, considering valorizing people over profits. What an absurdity!
We should be making it easier for speculative finance to make money and innovate. To develop bubbles and create trillion dollar valuations out of thin air! And to short them at will! This is how we pump up our economy like a hydrogen bomb! Speculators who want to speculate without limit should be able to do so without worrying that they may find themselves inside a federal resort working on their abs and pecs.
You know, last year –
(Applause)
You know, all this speculation adds up. And for you, it’s trillions every day. Now I am well aware that for far too long these practices have been challenged by socialistic demagogues.
Well, those days are over.
(Applause)
